Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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