How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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