and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
