Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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