I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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