dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize