So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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