We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
