thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
