google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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