Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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