Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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