On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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