you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
