I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
