whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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