do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
