im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
