And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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