Three words: puerto rican gang bang
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
