I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
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Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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