I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I will be naked everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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