Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
