accomplished twins. life is a go
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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