why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
