we made out on top of his cat.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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