He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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