Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
