break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
