all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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