My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
love makes seman taste better
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
