ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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