Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You work out of a Hotel?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize