I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize