he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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