I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
