Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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