Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
