would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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