yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
