People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
