omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
