i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
