I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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