belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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