People with herpes should wear stickers.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
