i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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