i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
