So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
