Yo dont text me then not text me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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