you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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