Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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