I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
