Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize