I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so let's talk penis.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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