I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
